


Don't Leave Me

by brainsickVagabond (HomicidalKitty)



Series: Pale and Red [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pale-Red Vacillation, Panic Attacks, Quadrant Confusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-02 23:00:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6586270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomicidalKitty/pseuds/brainsickVagabond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you’re fucking terrified.<br/>You don’t really know what happened or why you’re stumbling out of your shared pile, ready to battle, but whatever it is, you’re ready for it. You’re so fucking ready for it; years of living with your Bro has prepared you for these moments when you’re roused from slumber-</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Leave Me

**Author's Note:**

> Wow this also isn't edited. Please read and enjoy, sinners. Please don't read if panic attacks are triggering for you, I want you to stay safe and happy.  
> Check out my tumblr! http://brainsickvagabond.tumblr.com/

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you’re fucking terrified.

You don’t really know what happened or why you’re stumbling out of your shared pile, ready to battle, but whatever it is, you’re ready for it. You’re so fucking ready for it; years of living with your Bro has prepared you for these moments when you’re roused from slumber-

It takes five minutes and a very concerned, very frightened looking KARKAT VANTAS for you to realize that there’s nothing wrong; you are okay and nothing is prepared to strike you down where you stand. It is okay.

If only something would tell your drumming heart that.

You captchalogue your sword and feel yourself begin to tremble.

Before you know it, Karkat is pulling you back into the soft pile of blankets and pillows and into his chest. The shaking of your limbs worsens as he pulls you close and you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe, you can’t breathe-

“Dave,” Karkat’s soft voice cuts through the sound of your heart and your shuddering breaths. When that doesn’t work, he begins running his fingers gently through your hair, shooshing you as he helps you catch your breath.

If anyone else touched you during these episodes, you were liable to fucking dismember them without realizing it.

“Dave.” Karkat’s voice was softer, almost a whisper against your hair. Your shaking lessens only slightly but it doesn’t stop you from wrapping your arms around his midsection and holding onto him like he’d disappear. He _had_ disappeared in that night terror.

“You- you…” Suddenly words are a foreign concept and you feel so fucking weak because you can’t even _ask for help_.

“Shh, it’s okay, Dave.” Karkat soothes your nerves. Humans probably aren’t meant to be calmed by the soft ‘paps’ he’s pressing to your cheeks but it’s _Karkat_ and _he’s there,_ he’s alive and holding you and it’s that thought that sends you into tears. Just when you’d finally started to regain your breath.

 _“You were gone-”_ you finally choke out, sobbing into his chest.

The dream started out normal. You were wandering aimlessly throughout the meteor, occasionally passing a room with some conversing trolls or sometimes your sister. But Karkat wasn’t there. Every time you tried asking, the words would become skewed and incomprehensible or they would look at you like they had no idea who you were talking about. It was so frustrating that you turned away to find the feisty little troll yourself but as you continued down the never ending halls, soon there was no one. Every room you looked, no one was there. You even checked the fucking vents for Gamzee, you had become that desperate.

There was no one, everywhere you turned you were completely alone as the walls began closing in, the worst horrorterrors creeping from the corners and boxing you in; completely surrounded.

“Dave, look at me.” Karkat’s voice lulls you from the memory of it.

You barely have the strength to look up; what was the one thing your Bro always taught you? Striders don’t cry. Striders _never_ cry. And here you are, bawling in Karkat’s arms like a baby about something that didn’t even happen. “Don’t leave me.” You sob, but it’s barely above a whisper.

Karkat is going to make you look at him anyway. He tilts your head up and takes your sunglasses, another offense normally punished by flailing and snatching them back but that seemed to never happen with him.

“I am right here.” Karkat says, looking you in the eyes. It’s so strange, seeing him like this when any other time he’s shouty and short (literally, yes, but figuratively). It’s almost like he does this only for you.

That thought sends you into another fit of tears but at least it isn’t hysterical like it was before. Karkat continues to card his fingers through your hair and shoosh you until you’re no longer shaking and can make a coherent sentence without sobs interrupting you.

Karkat doesn’t ask if you want to talk about it because he already knows the answer. Talking about it will only send you into panic again.

It feels like hours pass before your breathing has evened out, Karkat is still holding you, purring faintly. You wonder if he’s finally picked up on how weirdly comforting that is to you. You never pegged yourself a cat person; that was more Rose’s schtick, but the purring induced a sort-of calm state. It was like the aftermath of a storm, attempting to pick up the pieces that were blown to hell and back.

“Dave?” Karkat murmurs into your hair.

“Hmm?” is all you feel like saying.

“Would… fucking shit, um, would it help if you talked to Rose?” he asks.

You bury your face in his chest. He smells like apples. What the fuck, that was _your_ schtick. Or maybe he’s been hanging around you so much that he’s starting to smell like you? Now where the fuck did that thought process come from? You’re talking like humans can smell other things like animals can or whate-

“Dave.”

“Shit, sorry, it’s just… I don’t know if I want to.”

“Dave, you get fuckall for sleep as is, I’m fucking worried about you. Even though I call you my moirail, I know you humans aren’t built for moirallegiance but she really-”

“No.” Your voice comes out harsh and short. Karkat flinched at its delivery and somehow you want to throw yourself off a cliff more than you usually do. There’s another long silence only now super uncomfortable and you wish that you could disappear.

“I… I’m sorry, Karkat.” You mumble into his sweater.

You can feel the shift in position and now he’s looking down at you. He’s trying to get you to look at him again but you honestly don’t think you can bring yourself to meet his gaze this time.

“Please, Dave.” he says, moving one hand to your cheek in an attempt to tilt your head up. You finally give in and almost want to hunker away in fear of the concern in Karkat’s eyes. The way he looks is what you imagine you looked like when you sprung into action thirty minutes before. You wonder if he ever feels red for you. Sometimes it seems like things were slowly leaning towards red but then you’d inadvertently do some really pale shit that would throw things back to where it was supposed to be, you suppose. You want to act on those curiosities, you really do, but would rather die by clownshit than give whatever this was up. Maybe it wasn’t in a quadrant at all, not that you fully understand the components of those matters.

“I care about you too fucking much to sit and watch you fall apart like this, Dave.”

Hearing him say that broke something inside of you and you curl into his embrace again. “I’m sorry, Karkat.” you mumble.

“Don’t apologize for it, nooksniffer, it’s not your fault.” You were relieved to hear the slightly playful tone in his voice. Yes, normalcy was good.

After having thoroughly cried yourself until there was literally nothing left, you sit up and wipe your eyes, Karkat following you. “Hey, Dave?”

You look up and he kisses your cheek, “Pale for you.” His voice sounds a little strained but maybe you’re reaching for so much at this point.

You ignore the blush that flares across your cheeks, “You too, Karkitty.”

He promptly throws a pillow into your face.


End file.
